Monday, we meet again. But why? Nobody invited you! Let us sleep and eat and pretend we don’t have anything better to do than…well…sleep and eat.
1. You’ve Snoozed Your Alarm 15+ Times
2. You Thought it was Sunday
How could you be so WRONG?
3. You Wish You’d Slept Instead of Staying up to Watch old Episodes of Ex on the Beach
4. You Calculate if There’s Enough Time for a Cry
Just a little one? Please?
5. You’ve Left Yourself 5 Minutes to Get Ready & Out the House.
No crying. No time. Cry on the way.
6. You Take a Moment to Re-Evaluate Your Life Choices
Can you get paid for just existing? Like Kim Kardashian? I’d like that job, please.
7. You Look Like You Spent the Night on the Mersey Ferry
Ey, didn’t know Chewbacca loved a curly blow!
8. Today’s Make-Up Look is Sponsored by Wind, Rain and Sweat
You’ve had to get a stomp on while applying a full contour using your phone as a mirror. Nearly blinded yourself with the mascara, but needs must.
9. The Commute Nearly Pushes You Over the Edge
Nothing like a sweaty Arriva bus at 8-in-the-AM. Oh don’t worry mate, I love having my head right in your armpit. No thank you for coughing into the back of my head!
That tuna sandwich you’ve decided to eat for breakfast? Please! Waft it around more!
10. You Realise You’re Still Hungover from Friday. And Saturday. And a Little Bit of Sunday.
“how much did you spend this weekend?” pic.twitter.com/QETWkSBYVq
— Joseph O’Brien 💅🏻 (@BassLake0405) 9 July 2017
Ohhhhhh. Cue flashbacks to you cartwheeling around Santa Chupitos.
11. You Make a Last-Minute Detour to the Nearest Costa
The lack of caffeine in your bloodstream is a matter of life or death.
12. Someone posts a “#MondayMotivation” Mid-Jog Selfie on Instagram
…and you feel like you’re going to launch your phone directly into the Mersey.
13. You Google “Ways to Fake Your Own Death”
The sooner you figure this out, the sooner you can go on that permanent beach holiday.
14. You Try to Get Into Work Undetected
everyone: why were you late
me: wow traffic was insane I am literally so sorry
also me: pic.twitter.com/a6J0CAKhr2
— Austin (@ayyypee) 16 March 2017
You’re only 40 minutes late. It’s deffo fine. Nobody will notice.
15. Then Have Zero Excuses Ready When They Ask Where You’ve Been
16. You Put off Doing Any Real Work for as Long as Humanly Possible
But I simply must take all the keys out of my keyboard to clean it! Tidy desk, tidy mind.
17. You Count How Many Years You Have Until You Retire
Only a couple of decades until this is all over.
18. You Move ‘Skip the Gym After Work’ Straight to the Top of Your To-Do List
It’s fine, you’ll do lunges to the fridge and back.
19. You Come Out of That Meeting Realising You Were 100% Asleep with Your Eyes Open
20. You Decide Those 250 Unread Emails Are Best Left Until Tomorrow
Aw thanks, me! I shouldn’t have.
21. You Kick Yourself for Not Bringing Snacks
Now how are you going to distract yourself? Filling up a Pot Noodle can take up to 5 minutes if you try hard enough.
22. You Wonder How This Day Has Lasted For 73 Hours Already
23. You Craft a Strongly Worded Blanket Email to the Entire Office RE: The Snacks
No Craig, I don’t want your bloody Belvita breakfast biscuit. Are you mad? I quite obviously want a Maccies.
Oh, we give up. See you on Tuesday. Is it payday yet?
This Monday, cheer yourself up with one of our special offers. Go on, treat yo’ self! You deserve it.